I'd Rather Be Pickling, But I'm Vitamixing

Last week at Whole Foods I saw the magic of the Vitamix for the first time as it was being used to make vegan cinnamon pecan ice "cream".  As someone who's lactose intolerant, ice cream usually sends me running (in more ways than one) but with the only ingredients being ice, nuts, spice, and agave this frozen confection was heavenly.

Tonight I got my own Vitamix as a gift and promptly sat down to watch the instructional video.  Before long I was blending, dry grinding (the white girl in the video led sections on both dry *and* wet uses) and even cleaning up all in under two minutes flat. 

Who needs teeth?  I have ordered a huge supply of bubble-tea straws from Quickly and plan to drink every meal for the rest of my life.

I'd Rather Be Pickling, But I'm Doing Research at Make Westing

 

I am on the eternal quest for hipster venues and activities, not because I am a hipster but because I not-so-secretly like to mock them.  Super-skinny jeans, long shaggy hair, leather handbags that they bought pre-beat-up-looking at Anthropologie ... and that's just the men.  Kids: I was alive and making my own fashion choices in 1980.  This is all very been-there, done-that for me--unlike for you.  It was not cute the first time around, and it's even less cute now.  Sigh.

My holier-than-hipster attitude would normally steer me far, FAR away from places like Make Westing, in Oakland, but I was drawn there by a review I read that described the stunning array of pickled items served in jars that can be found on their menu.  Now, I feel like going there all the time...for research purposes, of course.  You should go too!  Tell them Huong Nguyen sent you--they'll definitely know who I am. 

Another reason I love Make Westing?  I kick ASS at bocce, and they have an indoor court.  Here's an example of how thoroughly I punished someone the last time I was there (note: I am red):

Sweet victory. Just what I need to get me in the mood to do a little pickling.  Yes.

I'd Rather Be Pickling, But I Have To Vacuum All. The. Time.

There are two rugs in my apartment. I bought them before I bought any furniture, of course, because it was easier to do it that way than try to levitate all the furniture and install the rugs underneath afterward.  It quickly became apparent that the rugs were total fuzz factories and required constant attention.

My first weapon was a lint roller, which I used up in its entirety trying to wrangle the living room rug.  This left me nothing to use for de-fuzzing the bedroom rug and soon tumbleweed-sized balls of lint began to collect on the floor around the bed.  Next I bought a rechargeable hand-held DustBuster and finally broke down and bought a proper full-on upright vacuum cleaner. 

Still the rugs mock me.  The lint production is constant.  The maintenance is daily.  How can I pickle with so much fuzz on the floors?!

I'd Rather Be Pickling, But My Apartment Had Ants

At first there were just one or two, in the bathroom.  Then there was a surging river of them from the tub to the hall, under the rug and through the living room to the kitchen.  Unafraid of this plague of Biblical proportions, I armed myself with spray bottle and paper towels.  I showed them who was boss in this house.  My weapon of mass insect destruction?  method all-purpose cleaner with powergreen(TM) technology--cucumber scent.  Ha HA!!  Adios, ants.  I must have gone through half a bottle.  Spritz spritz spritz.

Final Score?  Huong: Hundreds and Hundreds, Ants: Big Fat Zero.  To avoid future infestations I bought two brand-new, totally indulgent and overpriced but hella sexy trashcans. They hermetically seal food odors inside, so ants can't smell anything worth swarming for.  Good, because I'm not so great at successfully taking out the trash in anything resembling a timely fashion.  They worked.  Thank God.  Can't have ants in the kitchen when I'm pickling.

I'd Rather Be Pickling, But Instead I'm Dealing With The Dragon Lady Downstairs

 
She pounds on her ceiling with a broom handle whenever the noise from my apartment disturbs her.  Rude, but not so unusual, except that sometimes she pounds at 3 a.m. while I am sleeping.  Do I snore that loudly?

Recently I went down to speak with her about the pounding.  She trapped me in her apartment by slamming the door shut when I tried to leave.  Then she yelled at me.  I told her if she pounds again I am calling the police.  All her racket interrupts my pickling.

I'd Rather Be Pickling, But Instead I'm Writing This Blog

Recently, I'm making some big changes in my life--not the least of which is that I've taken up pickling.  Basically, there's little I'd rather do.  At the same time, I've been encouraged to write this blog and tell the stories of my new experiences.  So I might write a few things here and there, every now and then.  But I'd rather be pickling.